Why am I blogging?

Why am I blogging at this time? I see that the curve has moved on and this form of communication has been pasted by Twitter and pictures. So, like the person who comes to see the place where the battle was, I now see a place where I can practice writing communicating without much comment or scrutiny. 

To be heard is to have comments! - YES, but I am only practicing. 

Is this a control thing? Being able to do something that has risk and then taking the risk out of it? - YES, and I can see that this is not a good thing.

Where is that man who wants manly action and responsibility? - He is scared to take the risk until he is ready to take the risk.

When will he be ready for the “RISK”? - Sooooooon. No, the fear is there. Commitment to a date is what I am frozen on. And what to do when the risk is taken. The RISK needs to take a person somewhere. Without the direction then the risk is just RISK for its own sake. A person could just as easily do meth, drive a car down the wrong side of freeway blindfolded (do not try this at home). 

I am using this writing to think about who I am and what I do in life. I train hard, but do I go to the show? Do I make it to the actual event? Am I present in my own life? Am I waiting for my life to be the real thing before I commit to it? It appears that I am not present in my own life. 

I am fare more in control of my life than I have been able to see. I am the man who is the one who sets the agenda. I have been fearing my own power. I have set myself into areas that drain me of my power and my time. I did not have to grow up or take responsibility or move up. 

To grow up is to not doing what I want when I want it. 

It is time to gain control of my life and identity.

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