Getting to a Level

I am not a very good success.

That reads very odd in any language without some background information.
I am very good at freeing myself, and then I sit and become frozen not knowing what to do next.

This has destroyed me and kept me up. Have been the man that is 'kept' by his woman. I do not like the idea of this.

I present myself as a loser and as the wild hairy man. I need to look and act better.